So it's been a while

I don't know if anyone checks this anymore, but I should probably take the time to write a entry on my new Twilight story just in case.

On the Mend found its start from watching way too many Law & Order: Special Victims Unit re-runs. I started wondering, what if Bella moved to Forks for a completely different reason? What if she witnessed the murder of her mother by some insane gangster and she had to enter the Witness Protection Program? Edward has always been crazy protective of her, so no doubt he'd be even more crazy protective of her in this new situation. What I didn't know when I wrote it, though, was just how terrfied Bella would be.

I began writing this with just a murder in mind. When Bella first met Charlie, she was shy, but not as quiet as she is now. She was slowly getting used to living in a completely new environment and making the best out of her current situation. But she was doing the exact same thing in the canon literature, and it didn't feel right at all. The Bella in this story didn't like the direction I was going in either, so she made a change.

All of a sudden, she told me that both her parents were murdered. And what was worse, she was raped. She was raped by her parents' killer. And her post traumatic stress disorder took on a whole different dimension. She completely retreated into herself, unwilling to talk to anyone, much less the officers who were trying to keep this bastard off the streets. And you know what else? She didn't care if she lived or died. She didn't care about anything. She lost her faith and her hope in humanity. My heart broke when I realized all of this, but I couldn't give up on this story once it started.

I don't know where all the angst and pain came from. All I know is that the moment I started writing, I couldn't stop. Bella was reeling in her own kind of pain and it seemed so real, even to me. I even Wikipedia-ed post traumatic stress disorder because I didn't know exactly what all it entailed. All that I knew was that Bella had it. And I was totally and completely shocked to realize that it described her mental condition with disturbing accuracy. Maybe I was channeling a part of it, maybe I was just divinely inspired; I'm not sure. All I know is that I suddenly became the voice, the means of expression to a completely separate entity.

And the writing process for this story is much different the process I've utilized for other stories. For some reason, I can't stop writing for this story. This story keeps begging me to write it. Sometimes, I can hardly keep my fingers away from the keyboard. I find myself thinking of different scenarios before they actually happen. I know what's going to happen next with each chapter, and let me tell you, that has never happened before. I've rarely been so singularly obssessed with a story. In fact, it's only happened three other times: Supergirl, SGPHS, and my still untitled Twilight project that I have yet to start posting (more on that one later).

I also find myself feeling much more depressed with every word I write. It's definitely hard, writing all of this anguish and despair. Normally when I write, I find myself talking to my story, asking where it's going or just saying something to it. But when I write for this story, I'm completely silent. I don't say anything. I just retreat into myself and let Bella speak for herself. I think my beta said it best when she said she almost had to shake herself from the intensity of Bella's pain. But despite all of the intense sadness, I'm incredibly proud of it. The writing style is definitely different; I've been trying to add more detail, since that seems to be the main criticism I receive, and I definitely think I've been doing a better job with that. The chapters are also longer, and the character development is much deeper.

And in the end, I think Bella and I are both trying to say something. There's always hope. There's always someone there who will be willing to help you, to lend a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on. It sounds cliche, but if you just look, the good stuff is much greater than all the bad stuff. And when we pull together to help those around us, it makes us that much stronger.

Anyways, onto another subject...my as of yet untitled Twilight project!

Yes, friends, this is probably the story I've been the most hesitant about. You see, I've been working on this really cool story for quite some time now. I started it in December and before I knew it, I had sixteen chapters finished. It's also in third person, a point of view I haven't written in for quite some time.

Now let me try to explain how this story came about. I started wondering just why Bella liked the sunshine so much. What's the big deal about sunshine? And what's so wrong with rain? I mean, I don't blame her; I rather despise cloudy weather myself, but she had to have some reason. And then I thought...what if she were Apollo's daughter?

All of a sudden, the story turned into a huge Twilight/Greek mythology crossover. Everything in the canon literature got Greekified in some way. And you know what the craziest part about it was? The plot is just too damn perfect. Like, it started off with me just wondering what it would be like if Bella was actually the daughter of a Greek god and it turned into this huge adventure, almost like an epic. Things started to fall into place way too easily, almost as if Stephenie Meyer had left these huge, gaping holes for this exact purpose. I can't explain it, but the story started to come together of its own volition.

I also started to look for a beta to read through it. She likes it, and she's impatiently waiting for the next few chapters (because it's not finished yet). But they'll come eventually, I'm sure. I'm just waiting for the muses to strike once more and make me finish what I've started.

So why, you ask, have I not started uploading it? Well you see, friends, I want to make sure everything about it is perfect before you all start reading it. This is my baby, my brainchild, and I need to make sure everything is polished, clean and complete before it's ready to be unveiled. If the muses decide to strike anytime soon, I have no doubts that the story will be finished before school starts up again, and all I'll have to do is upload. But until that time, you, my faithful readers, will just have to wait. Please be patient. I think it's worth it, and hopefully you will too.

So, in summary: if you haven't started reading On the Mend yet, I hope you do. I'm very proud of it. And if you're looking for a Twilight adventure of epic proportions, then just hang on until September-ish.

Thank you so much! I love my readers and if it were physically possible to send cookies through the internet, I totally would.

Ciao.